The bus...

We have anxiously awaited Arwen's first day on the school bus.  She has talked about it for a week!  Today was the day!  We were ready!  There was a 2 hour delay today.  We were outside before the scheduled time. We waited happily.  ...........and we waited........counting the minutes.......the time came and went.  That was ok...they had to work her in.  We waited....21 minutes later....I call.....i was watching Rowan through the window laying on the couch watching tv.....waited.....
I was on the phone for 30 minutes.  We waited outside for nearly an hour. The bus never came.  they finally radioed the driver and discovered that she had never gotten the information. !!!!!!!!!! :/
At this point, Arwen was going to be late for school.She was trying to play in the dirt.  She was restless.  We had to rush in and wash her hands.  They apologized and assured me that the matter was resolved and that the bus would bring her home today.  I am understanding of these things.  During the call....Rowan peed on the floor.  I had to rush and get him ready to go ...to take Arwen to school.  While driving, I called the school and explained why she was late.  I also had to walk her to class and interrupt to tell them what was going on.

Also...this morning I had Rowan in his underwear. I smelled something...but he was dry.  I took him potty.   He was very shifty....I knew he had to poop.  He didn't go.  I left his underwear off, so that we could rush back to the bathroom if there was any sign.  Then... I received a very important phone call.  I'm giving information to the caller when I notice.....poop coming out.  I said....oh my gosh.... just a second please.....i grab Rowan and start carrying him to the bathroom  His turd falls on the floor!  I'm on an important call with a brown emergency.  HAHA  
Anyway....amidst it all...it's a good day.

Kindergarten Day 3

Everything went well. I even got to meet Arwen's new permanent teacher. She's great. I'm pleased.  After dropping her off I took Rowan to behavioral therapy.
    After therapy we picked up our shirts for the Autism walk. We spent 40 minutes at the Autism Society of Northwest Ohio talking about resources and local offerings. Very good people over there!
Then home to get Rowan down for a nap. I did house cleaning, lunch,  and phone calls during the two hours he slept.
I got him up and we went to pick up Arwen. It went smoothly.  We went home and got Arwen changed. Tim came home early so we could all go to Rowan's orientation. 
His teacher is excellent.  I spent a lot of time discussing Rowan. All sorts of questions were answered.  She gave me her email.  We've gone back and forth talking that way as well.  It's wonderful.  They have an awesome motor room that  he's going to love!  His teacher really put me at ease.  While we were there he was so happy.  He really liked his classroom.  I  said " Rowan,  this is Miss Laura. "   He went over to the play area then turned and pointed at his teacher saying "Miss Laura, Miss Laura! "   I was so excited, he was talking!  I realized he needed a book bag. .. One with the strap across the front because he's never worn one before.
So we headed to Target and got him a backpack.  <3    My baby is getting so big.
What a long day!   We went home. ..ate... And to bed!

Meltdowns

...I haven't posted in a few days....because frankly...I've been a mess. It has been pretty emotional.

    Monday morning, Arwen woke with a rash on her face.  I spent the day Sunday stressing about if she would be allowed to go to her first day of Kindergarten on Monday.  I also spent Sunday, scouring the internet and social media, looking for answers.  Monday morning I took her straight in to the office and explained that she was a new student and that she had this rash.  We went to the nurse's office.  The nurse allowed her to stay.  I still needed some peace of mind so I called the doctor and scheduled an appointment for that afternoon.
The school was great, answering all my questions etc   The para in Arwen's class is a godsend.  They had not yet found a teacher for her class and had a substitute. The kids in her class are so precious. I picked her up early and took her to the doctor.  Everything is ok with the rash. It appears to be a contact rash.

Kindergarten Day 2
I took her in and talked with the para again. This time I was armed with a list of questions, which she graciously answered.  All was well ....until in my idle time, I received a message from the transportation department. They were letting me know Rowan's bus information.  Then, the anvil fell on my head. What about his cars?  He doesn't go anywhere without his cars. Then I really start panicking, thinking about how scared he will be. Most of the time he is in his own little world. How will they get him to conform to anything.  What methods will they use and disciplinary measures?  I don't like it.  I don't want him to go.  I want him to stay home.  I wanted some free time to take care of things....maybe go to the gym...gather my sanity.......but now......NO! I don't want him to go.  I'll be alone.....while he is confused. Will he think I abandoned him? He won't understand I can't do it. I can't let him go.....and I started sobbing.  Then, I gathered my composure and remembered that this is necessary.  This will help him. He may love it.  He will learn things that I can't teach him.  He will be with other kids, doing loads of activities.  He'll be ok.
............it was time for me to get him up from his nap and go get Arwen from school.  What a FIASCO. The place the teacher told me to go was full (even though I got there early).  I had to park in a no parking zone with 15 other cars and frantically rush to find her.  She was not around.  Another teacher told me she would be in a different spot.  I waited there,......I was getting really nervous.  The other cars that were in the no parking zone were moving. The principal was in the lot.  I went up to him...distraught and harried....I told him where my car was...and why it was there.  I thanked me and said it was ok to be parked there.  I went back to the area where they said she would be.   Still no sign.  Another one of the staff that I have talked to a few times came up to me and said....."the special needs kids come out at a different door where the bus kids come out".  She walked me there and told me that she had found a teacher for Arwen's class. I was grateful to hear that.  The second Arwen saw me......she started screaming and threw herself on the ground.  It was because she REALLY wanted to ride on the school bus.  I and the other teachers explained why she couldn't go on the bus that day.  She was not having it. This was the worst tantrum she has ever had.  I tried to get her to walk with me to the car.  She refused and continued screaming.  I pulled her toward the sidewalk and she wouldn't walk but went down on the ground again.  I couldn't carry her because I was holding Rowan.  My back was already hurting and it would be very risky to try to carry her while she was having a tantrum.  She might have injured Rowan.  A staff member intervened.  She told me to go get my car and pull way forward, away from the buses, and she would help me get Arwen in the car.  I did...and somehow she was able to calm Arwen and get her to the car.  Arwen was shouting and saying she would never go to my house etc.  I am sure it was suspicious, because the lady started asking questions.  She didn't know Arwen was autistic, or that she struggles with transitions.  Arwen was very mean so i was silent the rest of the way home to help her calm down.  I felt like I was going to have a meltdown myself....they crying type....but I didn't.  Once we got inside....Arwen said she was sorry and we had a long talk about school, the bus, and her day.  Everything was ok again.
 

Fiasco

Last week I got a letter in the mail that said Arwen had to have a kindergarten screening and that her teacher was to be determined.  In May, I had a meeting with a panel of people who had assessed her for kindergarten.  This consisted of a psychologist,  speech therapist,  occupational therapist,  district supervisor,  and her itinerant teacher.  (And probably a few more I'm forgetting)
We created a plan for her, deciding to place her at a school that offers a smaller special needs group,  with an extra adult.
They also offer transportation with a para professional on the bus to assist her.
(I can't even tell you the terror I feel about trusting someone in this situation)
We did a little tour of the special needs room and therapy room. I was introduced to the teachers and therapist.  I've been dreading the first day of school because I'm pretty sure Rowan starts on the same day.
Anyway. ..back to the screening letter.  I thought it was odd that they screen her since she had already been placed.  I thought because it said "teacher TBD" that they were meaning to place her based on this screening.  My first thought was that they had made an error.  I called. .. The phone rang and rang with no answer.  I emailed the special needs supervisor for the district.  She replied and said that all kindergarten students must take it.  I understand that. 
So, last night was the school orientation.  What a disaster.  The kids fidgeted through the principal's address, then we were off to meet her teacher and visit the classroom.  When we looked on the door it only showed a room number for her class. .... We walked down to the classroom and it was dark. Confused,
checked a second time for her teacher's name but none was listed. 
We found the assistant principal, who informed us that her teacher transfered and the new teacher officially starts on the first day of school.  We did talk to a therapist and she helped Arwen feel welcome.  We left discouraged with all her school supplies.
In a way, I was glad she was scheduled to have the screening so she could see the place again and get more familiar.  I got everyone up  and ready this morning.  I left a few minutes early so I could go to the bank. At the bank the phone rang...

The school canceled the screening. ....30 minutes before we were to go.  So now. .. We start school blind. I'm worried because I think Rowan starts the same day and there has been ZERO contact from his school.  I've called and emailed a few times and was pretty much told to wait.  School starts a week from today. 
I have no information and two special needs kids to prepare. 
I don't know what to think.

One day at a time. ......

My anxiety builds...

September 2nd both kids start new schools. Arwen begins a full day kindergarten.  This makes me nervous for so many reasons. 
She must be taken to the potty every hour or so or she will pee her pants trying to get there. She struggles with using utensils to feed herself and is very picky about how food is presented.  She has never gone anywhere away from us more than half day preschool.

I know that once she settles into a routine she'll be fine. This is a mainstream school but she will be with a small group for special needs. She will get many sensory breaks,  have occupational therapy, speech therapy, and be included in social groups. These are all great things. My fears are the possibility of her being bullied by neurotypical children. ...And being labeled. This brings me to the dilemma if the Autism model school would be a better fit. I want her to feel as normal as possible and learn to fit in with neurotypical children.  So I've been battling internally for some time on the matter.
Next week she has to take the reading test. She'll nail that because she can read like a first grader. Then placement.  We go to the school orientation the next day. I truly hope she will adjust easily. I'm so scared for her. Then there's the issue of transportation.  They offer transportation with a special helper on the bus for her. I know I should trust these people,  but her complete lack of knowledge about where to go and what to do. ..coupled with her desire to run scares me to death.
Now the subject of Rowan.  This scares me even worse. He starts preschool on the same day as Arwen. I have not received any contact from the school. I have called and emailed and was told to wait.  This is a half day preschool with transportation included. I've debated on the transportation issue because my car is on it's last leg.  I suppose it would be a learning experience for them...but I'm still afraid. Rowan has never been away from home without me or his dad.  He is highly anxious around new people and places.  He panics easily and has sensory problems, especially sounds.  He is not potty trained. He barely communicates. This program will also offer occupational and speech therapy. 
Like I said before,  once a routine begins it will all be ok. I feel that I should be with him at first to transition him and also inform his teachers about his needs. The thing is....His third day I have to meet with his therapist. I know he'll panic. It makes me panic. I don't want to put him through that. I'm anxious to hear from the school about how all this will happen.  I'm anxious for an orientation and meeting his teacher.
I need to stop worrying.  I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping lately.
We also have to work in speech therapy,  occupational therapy, behavior therapy and developmental visits outside school on a weekly basis. It's a struggle fitting it in.
I am very much like them in that I need a schedule, routine,  and know what to expect or I get anxious. Without a schedule we just couldn't function.