I watched a video on facebook that was shared by The Autism Site Blog. This video was made by a family of a little boy with autism. I am going to type out the text from this video to share with the world because of it's accuracy. It really touched me because it is exactly what my kids are going through. People just don't know about autism and how kids are affected. Our trip to the mall yesterday was a prime example. My boy was unresponsive to people that spoke to him and they thought he was mad. Another friend made a comment to my daughter that she took literally and began to cry.
TEN THINGS EVERY KID WITH AUTISM WISHES YOU KNEW
1. I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily "autistic." My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person.
2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be one of the most difficult aspects of autism to understand, but is arguably the most critical. It means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches of everyday (that you might not even notice) can be downright painful for me.
3. Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I am not able to.) Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear " *&^%*&^%, Arwen. *&^%^*&^%$........." Instead , come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your pillow on your bed, Arwen."
4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It's very confusing for me when you say "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running."
Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight, and what you really mean is "this will be easy for you to do." When you say "Rowan really burned up the track," I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me "Rowan ran very fast."
5 .Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It is hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings.I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened, or confused, but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
6. Because language is so difficult, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me to learn.
7. Please focus and build on what I CAN do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough and that I need "fixing." Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however "constructive" becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one "right" way to do most things.
8. Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it might be that I'm delighted to be included.
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums, or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
10. Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like "if she would just...." and "why can't she"
You did not fulfill every expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn't like to be constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember, it is happening to me...not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self reliant adulthood are slim. With support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you....I AM WORTH IT.
Patience, patience, patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability.
Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts that autism has given me. It may be true that I"m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I do not lie, cheat at games, tattle on classmates, or pass judgement? It's probably also true that I won't be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention and focus, I might be the next Einstein, Mozart, or Van Gogh. They had autism too.
What I become won't happen without you as my foundation. Be My Advocate. Be My Friend. We'll see how far I can go.
The type that is in bold are the things that are most significant in the life of my family. Those are the things that really stood out and accurately describe what we are experiencing. I hope many will read this and have a better understanding of what it is like to have autism. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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